Saturday, 4 October 2014

The Fascist And Nazi Bus Driver. Written By Nick Lowles On Crack In Peter Tatchell`s Bed Sit

Hope Not Hate can reveal that a notorious Nazi war criminal is driving buses in London and is even receiving a pension as part of a rehabilitation scheme for Nazis.  Gecht Weis is being employed by London transport to drive members of the public across London at high speed mowing into cars and other methods of transport and splattering Black People on the pavement and then reversing over them.  Weis is so obsessed with Nazism that the imperial war museum in London has had to take a restraining order out on him after he assaulted a left wing school teacher who was attempting to brain wash school children by telling them that Nelson Mandela was a decent bloke who cared about people.  Gecht is a regular at auctions where Nazi memorabilia is on sale, one item that won`t be on sale is Adolf Hitler`s underpants which were salvaged in 1945 at the orders of Winston Churchill`s pet bull dog who was in a rabid frenzy at the collapse of Germany.  Gecht is a veteran Nazi who purchases Shackleton`s high seat chairs to assist him with the aging process which he hopes to reverse with a new Nazi miracle drug derived from Bulgarian peasant`s excrement.  Gecht also stated that he was wanting to create a super race of White people by "opening up" a number of desirable White females who were playing hard to get, Gecht stated that they were in need of a good "shafting" and a dose of being forced to listen to Skrewdriver. 

Meanwhile over at the B.N.P camp Nick Griffin stated that he will be taking on a new job since being sacked by the B.N.P, Griffin stated that he will be working on a construction site in Liverpool and will be attempting to rebuild Ancient Rome in his spare time, Griffin stated that he was looking forward to throwing bananas at Black people and urinating on asylum seekers from the top of the scaffolding, Griffin stated that he was now talking in a scouse accent and was reading the sun newspaper and shouting sexist abuse at female passers by.  Griffin also stated that his jeans had started to sag while working on site, and that he was having to hold his pants up with a piece of string tied around his waist.  Griffin hit back at the political domination by the left over Liverpool who were encouraging people to wear dreadlocks and listen to rap music and hit themselves over the head with a hatchet while praising Nelson Mandela.

Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Total Complete Muppet For Hire

If we were to select a favourite left wing extremist, then it would be Matty from Hope Not Hate.  Matty met his partner in crime Nick Lowles in a muddy field in Glastonbury when they were both the worse for wear and were rolling around in the mud fighting over a tin of special brew that some hippies had left behind.  Matty then caroused his way around the world with his pet monkey working as a circus clown.

There was a time when Matty tried to get in bed with some Nazi skinheads in a bed and breakfast in Munich, and ended up being the victim of a vicious assault, which was a result of his own deviant tendencies.  Matty even stormed the local police station when his pet monkey was taken into custody after it threw excrement at an off duty police officer who was out walking his dog, but it turned out to be the wrong police station.

Then Matty took to writing letters to the local paper claiming to be related to Quentin Crisp, but the letters were never published, Matty then tried to martyr himself by throwing himself in the local canal late one night, but the canal had been drained the week before and he got stuck in the mud and had to be rescued by the local fire brigade.  Six weeks later after the botched suicide attempt, Matty re surfaced with an asylum seeker called "Johnny Foreigner" who had escaped persecution from his next door neighbour`s cousin`s uncle`s cat who had been calling him nasty names.  Matty now believes that he his some type of respectable person for hire and was recently seen entering the Hope Not Hate offices with brochures advertising holidays in Thailand and Brighton