Saturday, 8 February 2014

Michael Jackson Was A Nazi And A Fascist Written By Martin Smith`s Underpants

When Michael Jackson faked his own death in order to deceive the world, he secretly set up far right headquarters in an abandoned factory near the river Thames in London.  Jackson being a dedicated Nazi donated money to Nick Griffin and the National Front.  A long time ago Jackson had his skin bleached because he was ashamed of being Black.  Jackson also used to rob banks disguised as the elephant man from the 1980 film played by Welsh alcoholic.  The style of robbery Jackson used was unique, Jackson would walk into a bank with a banana covered over with handkerchief, he would then tell the cashier that he knew where they lived, a number of gullible bank staff fell for the routine and handed the money over which would then be sent over to Nick Griffin.  Jackson has now gone one stage further and had a head transplant using a deceased Nazi skinhead`s head.
To add authenticity to his appearance Jackson is now talking in a German accent and attending White power meetings in Europe where he has become increasingly vocal against immigration and labelled Europe`s Roma population "thieves" and "degenerates".  Michael also enjoys listening to Nazi group "Skrewdriver" and the song "When The Boat Comes In" is a favourite of his.  Jackson also attacks members of the Roma community by "steaming" in on them when they are selling copies of the big issue magazine, Jackson enjoys hearing the screams as he kicks them with his steel toe capped boots.  On Friday afternoon when local Muslims are attending the mosque, Jackson shouts abuse at them telling them to go back to Pakistan on a one way ticket.  At nationalist Meetings Jackson has criticised certain sections of the far right for selling out and buying cocaine of ethnic drug dealers to snort before going on demonstrations, Michael stated that this was unacceptable and directly funding the enemy.

Sunday, 26 January 2014

The Far right in London Written by Martin" prison dodger" Smith

The leader of the far right Hungarian group "Jobbik" is due to speak in London today and we aim to stop them by attacking them in front of the police who will protect us in case the Nazis attempt to fight back and smash us.  The group has called for Weyman Bennett to be castrated and then served up at the B.N.P annual Red White and Blue festival as "Bennett`s balls" where a number of European Fascists assemble around a dining table drinking specially preserved wine made from Mussolini`s urine that has been preserved in the town of  Frascati near Rome. 

Yobbik have been murdering thousands of people in Hungary and the Fascist media have been covering these terrible crimes up by digging a massive hole and throwing people down it.  Morris Beckman a veteran "Anti Fascist" stated that he did not want Jobbik in London and that he was glad that the 43 Group had slashed up members of the Conservative party and members of the British Union of Fascists who were committing the terrible crime of marching down the street and complaining about unemployment for White Britons.  The far right Jobbik are a major threat to public order and to prevent them from running riot we are going to attack them, we need to stop them dead in their tracks or else they will be skinning members of the Pakistani community and turning them into armchairs that they will then sell off to Sackleton`s  for old age pensioners who have health problems due to the British Government not caring about them.  Here at Unite Against Fascism we are concerned about "Women`s rights" in fact we believe that they should not have the right to anything, including the right to vote for Fascist parties like the B.N.P.  We are also delighted to announce that the English Defence League have embraced diversity by sending Hel Gower to Slough to demonstrate against alcoholism by declaring a sober demonstration.  Gower will be cuddling up to a Gorilla cuddly bear and claiming that the EDL will accept women who have engaged in casuals encounters with Pakistanis when they were desperate.  Gower stated that any individual caught throwing bananas on the demonstration will be requested to leave immediately.

Sunday, 19 January 2014

One of the Hope Not Hate team enjoying the high life

Nick Griffin and Jim Dowson the inseparable siamese mafioso twins, written by Matthew I talk out of my backside Collins

Over the last week we have seen some English Defence League members arrested, and as usual I have been excited and euphoric at the events.  I was so excited that I ran to the nearest phone box in Soho and grabbed as many escort cards as possible and phoned them up and ordered a dozen "escorts" trafficked from Eastern Europe as part of a market budget scheme.  The English Defence League in Teeside are having an open meeting and have removed the roof of the venue in order to make it more open to people such as captain Birds eye who will be using a number of his seagulls to defecate on E.D.L members heads.  Jim Dowson is an interesting character of sorts and is known locally as" MR Interesting", Dowson discovered God and then discovered Nick Griffin in his back garden robbing his allotment, the pair decided to "team up" and rob banks to fund the B.N.P who were now pushing their extremist politics to the maximum by making their members walk around public wearing Klu Klux Klan costumes.  So tight were Griffin and Dowson that they had to be separated with a pair of bolt croppers, it is also believed that Griffin and Dowson have been pushing newspapers filled with excrement through the letter boxes of Pakistani shops and takeaways.

Dowson threatened anyone who crossed him with a shotgun, and played Death And Destruction by Death Sentence (which is a favourite of Dowson`s) to his would be persecutors until their ears bled. Dowson also threatened to put people`s bollocks in a vice if they did not listen to him in the correct and appropriate manner.  Jim Dowson also enjoyed kicking people in the head and shouting at them "you are a victim of this fucking war!"  Dowson made the B.N.P a cloak and dagger organisation and Dowson could be regular seen entering the B.N.P offices wearing a black cape and rubber gloves to open hate mail that me and Nick Lowles had sent the B.N.P using various names such as "Ali Fax" and "Bradistanni.  Dowson has now left the B.N.P" sinking ship" using a lifeboat that he robbed from Michael Jackson`s aunt. Dowson has also been intimidating people by sending his pet triffids to their houses "to sort them out". 

We believe that the B.N.P is a Nazi and Fascist organisation because one of their members was photographed with his right arm in their air while urinating in a passage. Dowson`s antics are so outrageous that he has even grabbed hold of left wing journalists and strangled them to death and then disposed of their remains by throwing them in a mince meater and selling them off as mince meat to local butchers in Shankill road Belfast.  Last month we revealed that Dowson`s political party is to fight the European elections by travelling to Brussels and having a "punch up" with other MP`s during a bar brawl that will occur on a night out in down town Brussels.  We can also reveal that one B.N.P member called "Jack Russell " frequently attacks Polish people and enjoys  "having a go at them" by goading them with a pool cue in his local boozer when he is "pissed up".  What Jack Russell has done that is so terrible is that he has been "bastardizing" local people and then putting them on the Jeremy Kyle show and then laughing at them, Russell has also been writing articles for the "Daily Mail" newspaper charging three hundred pound per article to spread lies about the "Polish invasion" which believe it or not is n`t actually happening !  Russell also claims to have locked up seven thousand Polish criminals and stored them in his basement for safe keeping.  Russell plans on turning them over and smacking them and sending them back to Poland on cheap Ryan air flights after plying them with cheap vodka.

Saturday, 18 January 2014

U.A.F mission statement written by Weyman I tell lies through my back teeth Bennett

Written after being head butted by a Nazi and racist ten foot skinhead wearing 376 eyelet doctor Martin`s boots who grabbed hold of me in a cemetery while I was talking to Mark Duggan about Fascism and racism that was so long and boring that various nocturnal creatures fell asleep after telling me to shut up a dozen times.

One of the disturbing elements about Nazi and Fascist organisations is that they are Nazis and Fascists.  Organisations like "coal miners on acid" and "campaign to hit asylum seekers over the head with a cricket bat" are mainly made up of middle class people like David Cameron and Barry Manilow.  These people pay Nazi journalists money to print lies about trade unions and organisations like "disabled Pakistanis transvestites against racism" and "bus drivers against Nazi chimpanzees in Bristol zoo.  Nick Griffin the leader of the British National party has been involved in various shady right wing organisations for a long time, and the security services monitor Griffin`s activities using a periscope hidden in his toilet cistern.  Griffin is a hundred and sixty five year old Nazi Cyclops who beats old age pensioners up using a hammer and anvil that he robbed from an Anglo Saxon one and a half thousand years earlier using a tardis that he stole from the BBC during an atrocious remake of Doctor Who with Black daleks who deal crack cocaine in Bristol and cybermen who turned gay and married Black transvestites in Brazil.  Here at Unite Against Fascism we communicate with the general public using special hand gestures such as raising our middle finger at them and hitting them over the head using a lump hammer that we have just robbed from a shop by digging a tunnel and pushing Matthew Collins through the gap so he can reach out and grab a hammer.  We believe in defeating Fascism that is being organized by Baron Greenback who was in danger mouse from 1982 when teenagers and young adults used to walk around with Green Mohican punk hairstyles and wear leather jackets with studs in and doctor Marten`s boots and tight jeans and drink strong cider and sniff glue on street corners and listen to bands like Chaos U.K who sounded like they had put the guitars through a chainsaw.  Unite Against Fascism is seriously concerned about Nick Griffin`s war on hedgehogs, Griffin frequently blasts the hedgehogs while drinking Lambrusco wine when he is walking around his farm with a pump action shotgun.  Griffin is a Nazi and a Fascist who wants to kill people who disagree with his extremist views such as building the Egyptian pyramids on planet Mars and exterminating Pakistani midgets discovered hiding in Martin Smith`s basement.  If you agree with our views then you can join us by sending a fifty pound cheque to Brighton smack heads association, which is a group of heroin addicts that loiter around Brighton injecting drugs in the local toilets.